Hey Y’all, I found this blog that I wrote 7 years ago, 4 months after I returned home from the Race, and I never posted it. To be honest, I feel a little awkward posting this now, but I feel like this experience is relatable in more ways than one. Let me start off by saying, everyone has a different experience. There are many challenges that I faced, but God was faithful. Here is my experience:
My boyfriend and I had been dating 4 years at this point, and we decided to stay together even while I was overseas. We prepared for this by spending time together, talking about our expectations and praying. I tried searching for blogs about long distance relationships, and I didn’t have a lot of luck. However, we did our best to get prepared, and by the time launch had arrived, I felt at peace.
Things I expected that would happen:
– Talking every few days (think more 1/ week depending on wifi availability)
– Missing him all the time (sometimes I was so busy, I didn’t have time to miss him)
– He would be doing fine (he struggled a lot- he had to find hobbies and things to keep him busy)
– I would always have exciting things to share (I did, but sometimes life on the race is just like life at home, there are slow, story-less days)
– He would be available (not always the case, time difference is confusing- my 3pm, his 5am.)
Things I didn’t expect:
– Temptation:
For me, it was an attractive man that I thought was interested in hearing more about Jesus, when in actuality he was more interested in trying to get into my pants. In these moments, I have learned that you need to confide in your team leader, get away from the situation, and trust them when they say ”stay away from this person.” It’s important. Also, communicate with your boyfriend/ girlfriend about what is going on. It might terrify you, but they need to know. Honesty is key.
For my boyfriend, it was people flirting with him, saying suggestive things, and coming on to him.
Just because you are continents apart, doesn’t mean you can’t fight temptation together. I prayed for Him. He prayed for me. When we talked, I shared EVERYTHING with him, and He with me. We talked about our struggles, our weaknesses, our doubts, our worries, everything. We prayed for one another over the phone. We fought for one another. God strengthened our bond so much in the hardest times, so much so that when anyone would wonder why we were still together, we knew it was because God was leading us, He was carrying us through.
”Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
James 1:2-4 NLT
The enemy will find your weakest point in both your life and in your relationship and he will try to destroy it, but you have to be strong. You have to fight it. God is with you and with your significant other. You can get through anything, as long as you and and yours are leaning on God to take care of it. There were some months, where I literally had to pray “God strengthen my relationship with Matt. Take care of him. I give our relationship to you. Please care for it. I’m overwhelmed.” God took care of us.
I learned that I needed to put God first, ahead of my boyfriend, and I needed to put my relationship in his hands while I was away from him. A couple times, people on the race made comments, like “maybe he’s not the one for you” or “I think God is calling you to break up with him.”
Instead of taking what they say literally, pray and ask God is that is really what he is saying to you. He could be calling that of you, but more likely he isn’t. I really cried out to God in those moments. I was confused and afraid. One of my squad mates reminded me that God doesn’t always speak through people. He can and he does, but he doesn’t always. You have to take it to him and discern what he is telling you. Don’t make a huge mistake taking “God told me to tell you…” at word value. The enemy may be trying to influence you to do something you will regret. Take it to God first and see what he says.
“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking… God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, ‘God is tempting me.’ God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters.”
James 1:5;12-16
God protected us both, and he taught me a lot along the way.
God taught me to:
– Rely on him in the messy, feel like giving up moments
– Confide in him when I’m uncertain.
– Communicate with Matt even when it was hard
– Forgive myself and forgive Matt
– Pray for our relationship
– Surrender our relationship in His hands
– Have faith that everything would be ok.
If your relationship is meant to be, God will lead you through it. God protected ours, and we survived the distance together. We’ve now been happily married 6 years this year. These experiences were hard lessons to learn, but God is the same today as he was then. I still take the things that I have learned, and I apply those things to my life, even now. He still asks us to trust him and rely on him to lead us to the future together.
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert!Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen.”
1 Peter 5:7-11 NLT
