Training Camp… How do I put this? How do I explain this?
I went. Time was cut short, changes were made, tears were shed, and a new journey has begun.
I went excited, ready to learn, ready to mingle, and ready for change.
I had no idea what was in store for me…
I arrived, I unpacked, I worshipped like no other, I took in every moment. I walked barefoot on the grass at 4 in the morning, I got lost, I ran till my feet hurt and my heart beat out of my chest. I prayed for healing in myself, in my squad mates, and for strength to get through this. It was hard, exhausting, and confusing. My time was cut short…I didn’t expect that.
I met with a leader. We talked about the race, my situation and current struggles. She said something I didn’t expect to hear, something I didn’t want to hear, but something I needed to hear.
“LeAnna, I don’t think you are ready for the race right now…”
My chest tightened, my vision became blurry with hot tears, and my mind raced…what does she mean? why? I asked,
Do you mean right now, as in now, or as in January too?
She replied, “You are not ready now, nor do I think you will be ready by January.” Shock. The moment felt unreal. Was this really happening? She continued to explain some reasons why, but I didn’t hear her. All I felt was complete and utter shock. I couldn’t move, listen, or think.
I held my hand up, and asked if I could cry. (This might sound silly to you, but I don’t like to cry in front of people. It’s embarrassing. I have been teased my whole life for being a “cry baby” or “too emotional,”) but at this moment, I didn’t care. She held my hand, and I grieved my losses. She waited patiently with kindness in her eyes and comfort in her grip. There was no judgment, only silence.
I calmed myself, and thought…now what? I remembered that the September 2014 routes had been recently posted. I asked her if I could change my route to a later route. She said if I was willing to change, I could be ready to leave come September. Excited and hopeful, I made that promise. She had me admit my faults and struggled aloud to her, and then she told me something else that I will never forget.
“Consequences of your family’s and your past may help explain your present, but they are not an excuse to sit idly by and avoid the changes to make your situation better.”
Explanations are NEVER an Excuse!
She then asked me to repeat the following words…
“I am a precious child of God and I can get through this!”
She hugged me, prayed for me, and gave me a couple books to read. I worked with the World Race staff and deferred my route to a different date with different countries, which I will reveal in just a moment.
Although, I left Training Camp with all my previous hopes and expectations shattered; I took with me a heart warm with comfort, hope and peace.
God may have shut the door in January, but he has opened a new hope, a new goal, and a new route!
I am thrilled beyond measures to announce:
I leave September 2014 with Route 1: The All Asia Route!!
Here are the countries:
India
Nepal
Thailand
Laos
Cambodia
Vietnam
Malaysia
Japan
China
Mongolia
Philippines
*Just in case you’re wondering…
All my financial support has been transferred to my new route account!
I have raised 48% of my funds.
Praise God!
I finally feel at peace that this is where I am supposed to be. Thank you everyone who has prayed for me, my decision, and my journey. I’d like to say a special thanks to Z Squad, you treated, loved, and prayed for me like family–Thank you so much for all that you did and do. I can’t wait to read your blogs and pray for you as you travel in the new year!
God Bless you all!
I’d like to share a prayer from one of the books I am reading:
“God submerge me in the darkness of your heart, that the consciousness of my false, every day, self falls away from me like a soiled garment. May my deep self fall into your presence…knowing that you alone…will carry me away into eternity like a dead leaf in the November wind.”
– Peter Scazzero
