Tonight, we rode a bus for 3.5 hours. About 2 hours in, the urge to pee hit me in a wave of uncertainty. Should I speak up or sit in silence? Sometimes listening to the Holy Spirit is the same way. One minute, you are riding along debating whether or not you can hold it, whether or not you should wait…so you start trying to distract your mind thinking things like I’m fine. I can wait. Pressure builds, and questions fill your head, am I really capable of this? Will they understand? Is it too soon? Is it just me? Suddenly the urge to say something grows stronger and you just can’t wait any longer. You shout to the front, I need a toilet! Likewise, you’re sitting in church, and the Holy Spirit speaks, and He wants you to share what you’ve seen, heard, or felt. You start to question whether or not that was really him, so you sit there in silence. In my experience, I get a strange feeling in my gut and a chill that runs down my arms. It’s then that I know that I have to say something, but fear tries to get the better of me. So I raise my hand or stand up, I must speak. Completely out of my comfort zone, I walk to the front and share what came to mind. Even though it is nerve racking, it is extremely relieving!
This month, God has been challenging me to speak up, and face my fears of doubt. When I start to wonder whether or not I am good or capable enough, God reminds me that I am. Imagine if I had kept my mouth shut, I would have missed the opportunity to make a difference. More times than not, that little shout out makes a world of difference to those that needed to hear it!
So, I challenge you, when you feel the urge, the nudging of the Holy Spirit, please speak up! You never know how he will use your discomfort to comfort you and anyone else that needed to hear those exact words. He will use you. Will you let him?
Father, I praise you for you are good! You push me out of my comfort zone for the betterment of myself and others! Please use me, and make me more like you! I want to share your presence. Please give me the strength to follow through. Thank you for making me capable. In Jesus’ name, amen!
–> Just a reminder, my blog password is: jesusjewels
I sit here and read your letter. So odd that it came fairly soon after a discussion on worship and the Holy Spirit. The question is why we don’t worship like we used to. Why don’t we cry out with joy? Where did the idea of a 1/2 hour sermon come from? Basically, we decided after some discussion that as youngsters we (those of us in our 60’s) were taught to sit down, shut up, and don’t make a sound because it was considered disrespectful to talk, or do anything faster than a sedate walk in the sanctuary. Because of this it is hard for the older generation to understand jumping up and down, raising hands, shouting, praising the Lord with all your heart. Un fortunately, we have been taught to be still and mute. Why? Don’t know? But I feel this has severely blocked the ability to worship our God the way in which He intended. The same goes for the Holy Spirit. We have learned from our elders to “tone down” and feelings that we have experienced. To question, Is it real? As I am struggling to find answers to questions that I have, you are already asking these questions and already finding the answers to them in real life. I am so proud of you. I hope you continue to grow in this mighty way. You are being used by God and being groomed by Him to find that special purpose that He has for your life. Don’t get discouraged. You are such an encouragement to us back home that are praying for your safety, health, and spiritual issues. Love you, Ms. Rhonda.
LeAnna, You are growing so much in the Lord! Thank you for this post. It hit me right where I needed it.
Love you! May God continue to bless you!
Marie
Now that was a catchy phrase to call this blog! You got my attention real fast, and the meat of your writing was wonderful. What insight, growth and wisdom you are gleaning through this journey and we get to be a small part of all of this. Thank you for blessing us and making us feel a part of God’s call on your life. Love this and YOU!!!