After coming out of a month like Cambodia, I really struggled in Vietnam. I missed everyone that I had come to know. I couldn’t let go of anything. I held onto all the people, the memories. I wasn’t emotionally ready to let go.
I started out the month with prayer walks and assisting in teaching life skills classes at church, but something was off. Even though, God delivered me from Satan’s grasp, it was still a struggle to be different. I would find myself praying for God’s presence, some kind of feeling. I’m delivered, now what, God? Where are you now? Are you still here?
One night, while I was having trouble sleeping, God answered me. Amidst all the night life and chaos, a peaceful echo erupted through the streets carrying an old familiar tune. It was eerily beautiful the way it stood out among the honking of horns, drunk laughter, and darkness of the night. My teammate had talked of hearing the same song two nights before, but I honestly thought that was crazy, until I too heard it. I got up and walked out onto our small balcony scanning where I thought the tune might be coming from, but I couldn’t figure it out. The words however, were as clear as day,
“Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart, be all else but naught to me, save that thou art; Be thou my best thought in the day and the night, both waking and sleeping, thy presence my light.”
God provided me comfort in the midst of chaos. Even when I felt out of place, and couldn’t think ahead to move on, God reassured me that he was there. It’s interesting, how deliverance works, I’m free, but that doesn’t mean everything is now honky dory. Yes, I’m free and that’s wonderful, but the real work had begun. It’s time to change those mind sets, it’s time to see things on a new light, it’s time to realize that God is your reality, and you don’t have to do anything alone. It was hard to leave the ones I had come to love like family, but thankfully I didn’t have to go through this alone. Every night after that, I would hear that song, and rest well knowing that God was watching out for us.
